Cuckoo Clocks

WiseVibes asked:


The other night I was invited out for a bachelorette party with “the girls.” I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, “I promise!” Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.
Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed I knew that 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos, which equals MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him “midnight”. He didn’t seem pissed off at all. Whew! Got away with that one!
Then he said, “We need a new cuckoo clock.”
When I asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, ‘Oh shit’, cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it’s throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.”

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JODY SINGS asked:


1) How many Country & Western singers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love she is with the new one, and one to go “Yeeeee-Hawh!” and throw his hat in the air.
2)Shortly after I got married, I was invited out for a night out with the boys. I told the wife that I would be home by midnight… Well, the yarns were being spun and the grog was going down easy, and at around 3 AM, drunk as a skunk, I went home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock started, and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly I realized she’d probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for having the presence of mind, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict. Next morning the wife asked me what time I got in. I told her 12 o’clock. Whew! Got away with that one! Then she told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked why, she said,
“Well, it cuckooed 3 times, cuckooed another 4 times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, farted, then cuckooed twice more and started giggling.”
3)A police officer pulled over a red Corvette after it had run a stop sign. “May I see your driver’s license and registration please?” “What’s the problem, officer?” “You just ran the stop sign back there at the last intersection.” “Oh, come on pal, there wasn’t a car within miles of me”. “Nevertheless sir, you are required to come to a complete stop, look both ways, and proceed with caution.” “You gotta be kidding me!” “It’s no joke, sir”. “Look, I slowed down almost to a complete stop, saw no one within twenty miles, and proceeded with caution.” “That’s beside the point, sir. You are supposed to come to a complete stop, and you didn’t. Now if I may see your license and…” “You’ve sure got a lot of time on your hands. What’s the matter, all the doughnut shops closed?” “Sir, I’ll overlook that last comment.
He opened the car door, dragged the obnoxious motorist out, and proceeded to methodically beat him over the head with his nightstick. “Now sir, would you like me to slow down or come to a complete stop?”
4)Two New York City social workers were walking through a rough part of the city one evening. They heard moans and muted cries for help from a back lane. Upon investigation, they found a semi-conscious man in a pool of blood. “Help me, I’ve been mugged and viciously beaten,” he pleaded. The two social workers turned and walked away. One remarked to her colleague, “You know the person that did this really needs help.”
5)A proctologist walked into a bank and prepared to endorse a check. He pulled a rectal thermometer out of his pocket and tried to “write” with it. Realizing his mistake he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and exclaimed “How do you like that? Some asshole’s got my pen!”

Collectable Kitchen Plates

Peet M asked:


I bought the clock and can not find any other clocks with the same motive on. It is about 50cm in length

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Hannah Banana! asked:


I just bought a BEAUTIFUL cuckoo clock at an antique store for 300.00 and I’ve been researching it to see if I was ripped off or if it was a good deal. However, I cannot find one like it anywhere online! It is completely wooden with the top piece having three wooden maple leaves and a large wooden rose in the center of the middle leaf, the bottom piece is the same except there is a small rose on the two side leaves as well. The whole house is shingled and right below the little window where the bird comes out are three figures of children that go round and round when the music plays. The face is roman numeral and the hands are wooden. There are three brass pinecone shaped weights and a pendelum with a rose pattern on the outside rim of it. On the back of the clock is gold sticker that says “Original Masterpiece CCC Triberg” and a certificate that looks as if it was pasted on. On the top of the certificate it says reuge music and in the middle it says minuet lullaby W.A Mozart and on the bottom in tiny print it says made in saint croix Switzerland. There is also a stamp right on the wood of the clock that looks like two crossed keys in a circle with a symbol above and below it that I cannot make out. On the side of the clock is a metal plate that on the left side reads “Wren Bazaar”, a symbol of a building of some sort that says Big Ben under it, and the name of G. Burger and then on the right side it says “Made with love member of the Cuckoo Collectors Club Triberg”

I am hoping that someone sees this who really knows clocks!

Credit Card Vending Machine

jennyjenn153 asked:


GIRLS NIGHT OUT!

The other night I was invited out for a night with “the girls.” I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, “I promise!” Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. Even when totally smashed… 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him “Midnight”.

He didn’t seem pi$$ed off at all.

Whew!! Got away with that one!

Then he said, “We need a new cuckoo clock.”

When I asked him why?, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, “Oh crap.”, cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it’s throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.”

Credit Card Vending Machine

Greg asked:


I watched a show last night on parallel universes and the 11 dimensions. You know what it was like? It was like watching people with boxes of coiled spings for brains telling the world that reality as we know it is some twisted carnival with funhouse mirrors, jack-in-the-boxes, cuckoo clocks, maniacal laughter, acme brand piano’s falling on people’s heads, that socks go on your hands, gloves on your feet, pants on your head, and shoes in your underwear, where left is right, and right is wrong, and up is down, and forewords is backwards, and inside is outside, and crazy is sane, and sane is crazy…

and when they were finally done turning all sense into utter nonsense, they patted themselves on the back and said “We may have discovered the theory of everything!”

Asked this in Physics, but nobody seems to be answering questions over there today. All the physicists must be tied up their straight jackets today.
Well, I smell BS, if you want to believe this fantasy-land pseudo-science, be my guest. I guess I’m just a big dumb fool for thinking this nuthouse reality that physicists are trying to impose on me stinks to high heaven.

Discount Kitchen Faucets

SpikyP asked:


on the cover of this book
http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Cuckoo-Clock-Heart-Mathias-Malzieu/dp/0701183691

the boy with the cuckoo clock heart - there is some great art work, and i really want to find out the name of the artist.

(annoyingly i looked it up when i picked up the book in town earlier, and now i have completely forgotten AAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!)

Coffee Vending Machines

ny asked:


cuckoo clock started cuckoo-ing the time, and the cuckoo went in and out, in and out; with the last cuckoo the cuckoo stopped and said in a husky voice: “So, dude where is my salary, insurance, pension plan? Do you think that I will go on getting myself hoarse all for nothing?”

Cable Lighting Fixtures

Fangs_4u asked:


The other night I was invited out for a night with “the girls.” I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, “I promise!” Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.

Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed…3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him “Midnight!” He didn’t seem pissed off at all. Whew!! Got away with that one!

Then he said, “We need a new cuckoo clock.”

When I asked him why, he said, ‘Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, “Oh shit,” cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed a

Coffee Vending Machines

vanillacokefiend asked:


A couple of Buckethead albums? I really want a copy of The Cuckoo Clocks of Hell and Pepper’s Ghost. I just can’t seem to find them anywhere. Thanks..
i live in VA Beach but you can send them to either Roberto12495@aim.com or Vanillacokefiend@yahoo.com

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